2nd thought on my mind is...WHY ARE WE HERE? or WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP WHILE I AM HERE??
I know why I am here but what should I be doing to make the best of it? I love the gospel and the light it brings into my life and my families life. To tell you the truth I don't really know what I would do without it. I was talking with some girls in my ward the other night and we all mentioned how we had gotten blessings from our husbands while we were pregnant and when we were having our babies and how comforted we were. The girls were saying how it would be impossible to feel that kind of faith if we did not have the Lord to protect us and to call on him for help. I know we are here to get back to our Heavenly Father but am I really doing enough. I don't know if it is because I am now a stay at home mom or that I don't have a calling yet but I really feel like I am not contributing to this world or "my world" at all. I have trying to think of ways that I could do charity and I just haven't been able to think of anything. I want to help in a way that won't take me away from my duties as a wife and mother, but I want to help in a way that my Heavenly Father can be proud of me. I don't know who watched Oprah but she always has people on her show that are helping other people and I wonder how they thought of that. For instance one show a lady had found that kids in foster care or orphanages didn't have pajamas, so decided to start asking for people to donate. It seemed so simple, but how can I do something like that?? When I was growing up my mom did great things for people and she still does...I guess I just don't know where to start and I don't know what is right for my family. Brielle takes a lot to keep up with her and watch her and maybe right now she is my contribution...but I am doing enough for her? I am teaching her properly? Will she know and respect me, Adam, and her Heavenly Father?
So what are you guys doing?? How do you help fulfill your calling to provide service and charity?? and also what are you doing to make sure you teach your kids what they need to know?
3rd thought on my mind...What are we really supposed to be doing on Sunday?? And How do you bring the GOSPEL in to your home everyday??
Adam and I always end up on the computer and watching the TV. We do take Brielle to the park and let her run around, but should we be doing that?? We have always said family prayers at night together and just recently we have started to say morning prayers. But isn't there more? I don't want to be one of those overwhelming Christian women but I really know I should and can do more. I just don't know what! Especially with Brielle...which leads me to...WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR KIDS WHEN YOU ARE A STAY AT HOME MOM?? EVERYDAY! 9-6!!! Brielle and I have really started to get frustrated with eachother because there is just so much time in a day and I really don't know what to do all the time. She is also at an age that she just isn't ready for certain activities that I have tried...crafts and such. What do you do???
4th thing on my mind...Do you ever wonder if a past crush ever liked you?? If you would have said something would it have changed anything??
Some may know this about me...I love really quickly and unconditionaly. I don't know if Heavenly Father was protecting me or what but I never really dated. I had two real/fake boyfriends before I met Adam and a lot of crushes that lasted sometimes years. And what normally happened, actually almost always, the guy I had a crush on became my friend and then I found out he liked one of my friends and I would either set them up or get my heart broken or both. I also wonder about how I got asked to a few dances. I wonder if someone asked them to ask me or hinted that I didn't have a date. It wouldn't really make a difference now so I guess I shouldn't even be asking, but I just wonder. I know that is was probably best that I didn't have any boyfriends til I went to college, but was all the heartbreak and self-consciousness worth it?? I don't know. But one thing I do know is that I am one of the luckiest girls in the world to have gotten ADAM GRANT BAGLEY!!! I love him so much and I know he loves me more than any guy ever has. He takes care of me and Brielle and he is such a good guy. He doesn't complain harldly ever and he always listens and tries to help me when I am complaining--which is a lot! Did I mention is is super good looking too!?! How did I get so lucky??
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11 comments:
I really have ben thinking about this a lot lately. I have also been thinking about the gay marriage thing for months and literally months ago made a blogpost about it but never posted it cause I was scared to.
I really believe the best good we can do in the world right now is in our home. Our children pretty much depend on us, especially at this age, to teach them everything they know, and who they will be. especially if they spend most of their time with us.
I can already see things that Kaiya does that I do. Things I wish she didn't pick up from me. I realize more than ever that in order to teach her the way to live to return to him. I need to better myself. And becoming better outselves is a service to our family. We will be better wives and mothers. better teachers, homemakers etc.
that is my feeling on the topic lately. and I think I'm going to make my post that has just been sitting there.
also being a stay at home mom to a toddler is HARD! there are power struggles and lots of time during the day to fill up with meaningful things. I find the best days for me are when I stop and think about what would make her day more fun and memorable/interesting.
The things that often bring us closer together are:
just playing together on the floor. ie: tickling or the flying airplane etc.
reading books together in her tent
pladough
imagining (like playing doctor or dress up)
and always going outside is a must for her.
oh yeah Kaiya loves to go to the library and pick out children's books.
she loves to do puzzles with me too.
you should visit my new blog that I just started it is tiffanyklinke.blogspot.com
Brooke you are too funny! Well about the past crushes not the serious stuff. I totally hear ya on the crushes one. I wonder the same thing myself, even though it doesn't matter now. I never dated anyone either and Jeff was my first boyfriend, pathetic I know. But there still always that wonder about what would have happened?
Anyway, I really think you are doing great. You are doing more than me because I'm terrible at even getting around to family prayers at night. There is so much evil in this world that I really believe the best things we can do are in our own homes. You really are doing wonders, just might not realize it when you and Brielle are having one of "those days". I don't know how stay at home moms do it. Just thinking about becoming better and trying to figure out how you can serve is a good thing. Hang in there!
I miss you Brooke. I know we've hardly talked since I left Hawaii and I'm sorry for that. You were always one of my favorite roommates. We had so much fun together and you were such a good example to me.
our sundays consist of right now:
-finish preparing for our sunday school lesson and talk about what we will talk about
-while we get ready we listen to church music
-we make breakfast together since we dont have church till 1pm
-we watch only g rated movies in the evening, go for a walk, play games, those sorts of things
i like that you share your feelings and thoughts. I don't think anyone should be afraid to ever share what they are thinking and feeling...it's a wonderful thing to let it all out! who care if people judge you, if they do then they aren't your friends! and when i posted the not loosing my identity when i become a mom...i hope i didnt offend or bug you! that wasn't my intention!
Brooke--It's your cousin Emily (: I don't think you are alone in how you are feeling. Even though I don't have older kids I do have a few ideas for you.
1.You should get the women/moms together in your ward (like an enrichment) and brainstorm ideas of good Sunday activities and daytime activities. I'm sure there is a wealth of ideas there.
2. Parent magazine has good ideas of things to do with kids of all ages and it is only like a $2 a month for a subscription.
3.When we were growing up we had the Scripture Scout tapes/CDs (sold at Deseret Book). It is designed for kids and tells scripture stories using songs and through the point of view of children. I still love listening to them and can't wait for Clara to understand them. We would act out scripture stories along with them.
4.Right now a couple of ladies in our ward put together a music time once a week for a hour where kids of all ages (mostly 2 years olds show up) come a sing songs together using props made of cardboard or paper or dress up clothes and inexpensive instruments like bells, homemade drums. They have a theme for every month and it is fun for the kids. If you want more info on this you can email me and I can send you what they send out (emeems@hotmail.com)
5. Play groups with your friends and their kids are great!
6.You could do a co-op preschool with other moms and take turns teaching and doing activities.
You are a great mom and it is nice to hear your thoughts. Too bad we don't live closer to do things together!
Um NO WAY!! I am the luckiest. I got the most sweet, funny, loving, and sexy momma ever!!!
by the way HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!
Hey Brooke, im not sure if you remember me, im the Sparks girls cousin. Anywho, i hope you don't mind me commenting. I read your post and thought maybe I could share some thoughts and a personal story at the same time.
My husband and I have recently been struggling with infertility for about 2 years now. We started fertility treatments about 6 months ago. with nothing working, we decided to move on to the last 2options, invirto and adoption.
I was having such a hard time understanding my purpose as a woman if i couldn't be a mother. One day while reading the scriptures, i fell on to this wonderful scripture about service, when you serve others your forget about yourself. While i was hurting and looking for a healthy outlet, Holly and Rusty where fighting for Easten's life. I felt so helpless and wanted to help. I had no idea what to do or where to start, which left me in limbo. I finally "grabbed the bull by the horns" if you will and dug in. I found that you have to start somewhere, and when your serving others the rules are far and few between. I asked others for their help to make sure that i didn't over load. But it was fun to get others involved, especially when family is involved. I have never felt so validated. As a daughter of God, as a woman, as a wife, as a friend and as a family.
The fundraiser was hard work, which left no time for myself and my trials. It was the most amazing time. During August, while we were getting ready for the fundraiser, crossing t's and dotting i's, we were way to busy for fertility methods and decided to take the month off....about 2 weeks after the fundraiser, i found out that i have been blessed with a little baby that is growing at alarming rates!!
Im just barely a mother with this new baby that i haven't even met yet, but my testimony of service is so special to me. I love to share the wonderful feelings and how great it felt to serve.
I believe that we can serve some everday, in the smallest ways. I think that when we pray and are in tune with the spirit that we will know who needs our phone call just to say that were thinking of them, or taking cookies to an elderly person to make them feel special. Picking up someone's yard. All of these things you can include your daughter in and through your random acts of kindness, she will follow your example.
Hopefully you don't feel like im preaching. I hope that i said something that can be helpful. I would love to send you an invite to my blog. Send me your email to sherstuart@hotmail.com
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKE!!! I THOUGHT I WOULD DROP A LITTLE COMMENT AND LET YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU TODAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!
LOVE YA
JACKIE
well, first it looks like i should say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
second, i like this more personalized blog approach. i love hearing your thoughts and feelings.
third, amen to stay-at-home-mom with a toddler. don't know how your situation is, but until recently i was alone, from 5:30 am until 5:30 pm. just me and addi (and gwen of course) and a whole lot of frustration and boredom and failed mothering. it's hard. way hard. and i have no idea what i'm doing. i try to do addi-focused activities, but addi has no focus. :) anyways, i think you're great. i always admired how you could organize mommy and me play groups and people would come, and the walk groups, and lunch groups. you have a knack for getting people to cooperate. maybe that's a gift you can use to help "build the kingdom".
Brooke, we all feel this way. did you go to the General Relief Society meeting? Pres. Uchtdorf
spoke about feeling like you're not doing enough, you should either watch it or read it. It will help! it helped me atleast!
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